So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
