Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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