so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
