Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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