If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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