On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
