Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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