So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
