I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize