Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
