was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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