The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Come share oat with me in your robe
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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