She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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