Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
How many fucks given?
0.12846
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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