thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
