i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
