CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
