Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
