Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
