Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
