Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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