Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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