Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
