so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
