I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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