i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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