My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
