guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
