I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
