3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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