i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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