all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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