One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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