i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
There are leaves in my underwear?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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