She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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