He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
