If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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