So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
