I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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