I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I smell like Dick and happiness
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
