Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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