so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Randomize
