If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
