fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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