You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
