Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
