finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
