Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize