she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
