I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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