His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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