never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
