After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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