she's into porn, im staying here tonight
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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