so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
