Me too!
After last night, I could never be a politician.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
