someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Alive.
So much puke
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
