Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
50% drunk capacity currently
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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