I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
