theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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